View source for Transcript:Equine myths and Trials of Fire

{{No official name}}
{{Postbag|issue=32|date=1 September 2022|url=https://secure.runescape.com/m=news/gielinor-gazette---august-2022?oldschool=1|osrs=yes}}
{{transcript list|Dagannoth Rex|K'ril Tsutsaroth|Ignisia|Alec Kincade|noplayer}}

Hello everyone! I’m afraid I haven’t done much postie-ing this time. Last month, I was asked to deliver a letter to Maisa in the desert, and then… actually I don’t remember what happened next! All I know is that last week I woke up in the scariest pyramid I’ve ever seen, and got out of there sharpish!

Enough about my adventures though – let’s take a look at this month’s post!

Hang on a minute... what's this letter here? That definitely wasn't there a minute ago. What does it say...?

{{Letter|'''On 16 Ire of Phyrrys, a challenge. Your services will be required soon.'''}}

How mysterious! If that's your letter - or if you have any idea who might have sent it - you can contact me via the usual channels. Or just come and say hello!

I have a funny feeling we'll be hearing more from this puzzling post-sender soon... until then, let's have a look at your letters!

==To Dagannoth Rex==
{{Letter|Dear [[Dagannoth Rex]],

Every time we meet you vehemently refuse to step foot in the water, no matter how many magic spells my friends and I pelt you with. Is it because you're afraid of water? It seems pretty silly that one of the kings of WATERbirth island would be afraid of getting wet.

Or maybe you just like the tingly sensation of Slayer Dart?

Yours truly, DarkfireX34}}

Dear DarkfireX34,

I’m not scared of the water! Who told you that?! Was it Prime? He’s always bullying me…

Anyway, I never see you and your horrible mates swimming around in there. If you’re so brave, why don’t you take a dip? See how you like it?

That’s what I thought.


See you (and your puny Slayer Darts) soon,

Dagannoth Rex

==To K'ril Tsutsaroth==
{{Letter|Dear [[K'ril Tsutsaroth]],

After a long day of '''YARRRRRRR!''' ing my Prayer Points away, what does a great and powerful demon like yourself do to unwind? Surely you can’t be that angry all the time, what do you do to rekindle all that rage?

Strength through Chaos,

LuitenantDan

PS: What brand of toothpaste do you use to keep those pearly whites pearly and white?

PPS: Who’d you commission your dual blades from? I could use a new sword.}}

Greetings, mortal!

Hmm, that’s a tough question. After millennia trapped in this frozen dungeon, I’ve developed quite a few hobbies. Curling, snowboarding, flaying my enemies, ice sculpture… you’d be amazed how much there is to do around here. When all else fails, a good bit of primal screaming always restores our morale. Here, you have a go:

YARRRRRRRRR!


May chaos rend your foes asunder,

K’ril

P.S. The only paste I use is the stuff that used to be my enemies!

P.P.S. I get them delivered from the pits of infernus. They do next day delivery!

==To Ignisia==
{{Letter|To [[Ignisia]], Grand Master of the Order of the Sacred Flame,

Good day Ignisia,

It has been a while since I last paid a visit to the Pyromancers. The last time I was there, I... just wanted to check on the cute little toad at your camp. Definitely '''did not''' pour anything on the Doors of Dinh.

Regardless, I have a couple of '''burning''' questions I would like to ask you.

- In order to serve the Order, you had to pass something called the Trials of Fire. Could you tell me more about these trials?<br>
- Would it be possible for a mortal such as myself to undertake the Trials, to prove myself to the Order?<br>
- How did you become Grand Master of the Order?<br>
- Have you heard of a hot young man (pun not intended, he seems to light fires every moment of every waking hour, and his hands are stained with ash) by the name of Ignatius Vulcan? I was surprised to learn '''he''' was the master of Firemaking, when you seem to be a much better fit for the role!

I hope you can answer at least some of my questions!

Sincerely, u/YoshiFan12 , fellow master of Firemaking

P.S. - What do rejuvenation potions taste like? I would have had a sip myself during my time subduing the Wintertodt, but the well-being of the other pyromancers was more important.}}

Greetings, YoshiFan12,

That’s a rather specific thing to deny, isn’t it? I’m starting to think you did do something to the Doors! But that would be ridiculous.

I can’t tell you much about the Trials of Fire. We keep the details hidden from non-initiates, and in any case, it’s been centuries since I underwent them myself! Although if you’re interested, you’d be very welcome to apply! I was a mortal myself when I first joined, and we have lots of mortal recruits… although they don’t tend to last very long.

Those were dark days for our Order… and for all of Kourend. Our previous Grand Master was my mentor. A brave woman, indeed. One terrible day, she was summoned to a meeting with Xeric. She never returned. I have no doubt that she was loyal to our Order until the last. There was some turmoil – not everyone shared my dedication to the cause – but in the end, I was elected by unanimous vote. Normally Grand Master is a lifetime position, but after the Ascent of Arceuus, my role was made permanent.

Ignatius… Vulcan? That does sound like a name a pyromancer might take. But it doesn’t ring a bell. Recruits fail the Trials all the time – normally due to a lack of true magical talent. Others simply can’t handle the pressure. Perhaps this Ignatius person is one of those? He’s certainly welcome to try again, if he’s truly a master of the art.

As for Rejuvenation Potions – they’re certainly not to my taste. Bruma Herb sets off my allergies. Ironic, isn’t it?

Anyway, please don’t drink them. They’re strictly for Pyromancers.


May the sacred flame guide you,

Ignisia

==To Alec Kincade==
{{Letter|Greetings [[Alec]],

As a member of the Myths' Guild, I continue to seek out myths and tales to fill the Library of Knowledge. As such, I am looking for possible leads on one of the most elusive animals in Gielinor.

As the headmaster of the guild, surely there is some information you know of about the mythical horse, whose traces of its existence have been strewn about the world and yet has no known confirmed sightings. Its also been referred to as a hornless unicorn, though I'm confident that is just a rare genetic mutation among unicorns, which are a totally different species than a horse.

My best lead, [[Hajedy]] and [[Vigroy]], claim to offer cart rides between Brimhaven and Shilo Village in Karamja via horse, and yet I was not able to witness these horses in action.

Additionally, Diango sells a children's toy called toy horseys. I can only assume that the nonsensical word "neigh" that I hear children shout while playing with them is some fanciful reference to the mystical sounds these creatures must make. However, the word may just be the product of the over-active imagination of children.

If you have anything additional leads, I'd love to hear about them in pursuit of expanding the Library of Knowledge!

Thanks in advance, Spineweilder}}

Dear Spineweilder,

Horses, eh? Most would call you a loon for believing in such fairy tales. Here at the Myths’ Guild, though, fairy tales are our business! You’d be surprised at how often even the wildest stories hide a kernel of truth.

Your instincts are strong. We have ourselves dispatched agents to the Karamjan Jungle to keep an eye on Mr Hajedy’s… activities, but we are yet to witness these ‘horses’ for ourselves. We can only assume it must be some sort of marketing tactic… although that doesn’t explain how the carts actually move.

It’s true that the traditional depiction of horses looks a bit like a unicorn, but our research suggests the resemblance is purely superficial. You’ve already noted the lack of horns, and the ancient texts we’ve studied suggest that horses could be ridden in order to cross great distances – more like a camel, if anything. Let’s hope they’re less bad-tempered!

Freya has an interesting theory on the subject. She claims to have seen evidence that horses once roamed the wilds of Acheron. If that’s true, these creatures may be far more dangerous than your average ungulate. Perhaps it’s best we leave them well alone…


Yours,

Alec Kincade

Guildmaster of the Myths’ Guild

{{Postbag from the Hedge}}