Transcript:My Arm's Big Adventure

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This page contains the transcript of Transcript:My Arm's Big Adventure.
The content below is copied verbatim from Old School RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.
This transcript involves dialogue with Burntmeat, Adventurer, My Arm, Captain Barnaby, Murcaily, Qutiedoll, Jagbakoba, Drunken Dwarf, Drunken dwarf's leg, Tool leprechaun, and the player.

Starting the adventure

Talking to Burntmeat

  • Burntmeat: Oh, it you again. I bin thinking 'bout you.
  • Player: I probably won't feel happy for knowing the answer to this, but why have you been thinking about me?
  • Burntmeat: Well, Burntmeat need big important job doing, and you bin helpful before. You fetch Burntmeat tasty human for stew that time.
  • Start the My Arm's Big Adventure quest?
  • Yes.
    • Player: What do you want now?
    • Burntmeat: You remember you come in here asking me questions about goutweed, yah?
    • Player: Yes, you told me trolls had picked it all until there wasn't any left.
    • Burntmeat: Yah. But Burntmeat is hearing where goutweed is growing again.
    • Player: Oh? How did you hear that?
    • Burntmeat: Well, I was cooking dis adventurer...
    • Cutscene begins.
    • Adventurer: You like my armour? If you let me go, I'll let you keep it!
    • Burntmeat: Nah, silly red metal just hurt troll teeth.
    • Burntmeat knocks aside the dragon platelegs and uncovers goutweed.
    • Burntmeat: Huh? What dis? You got goutweed here!
    • Adventurer: You can have that too! Just let me go!
    • Burntmeat: Only place find goutweed is my storeroom. You bin stealing?
    • Adventurer: No! I-I- I grew that myself!
    • Burntmeat: What say? Goutweed not grow now. Trolls pick it all.
    • Adventurer: No, no; I grew it.
    • Burntmeat: Humans grow goutweed? You lying to Burntmeat!
    • Adventurer: You can get the gout tuber from Tai Bwo Wannai Village. Go there and ask Murcaily. Then you plant it in a farming patch.
    • Burntmeat: Mmmm. Burntmeat think that sound good. But Burntmeat cook you first.
    • Adventurer: Oh b...
    • Cutscene ends.
    • Player: You killed that poor chap! What had he ever done to you?
    • Burntmeat: Well, he give me mighty sore tummy later. I think I forget to wash his feet.
    • Player: Anyway, why did you tell me about all that?
    • Burntmeat: Ah! Der man I cooked, he say humans growing goutweed again. Now, if humans growing goutweed, maybe trolls can grow goutweed too, yah?
    • Player: You want to become a farmer?
    • Burntmeat: No, not me. Burntmeat stick to what he best at doing. But I got me an assistant wanting to learn farming. He called My Arm.
    • Player: Your assistant's called WHAT?
    • Burntmeat: He called My Arm.
    • Player: My...?
    • Burntmeat: My Arm.
    • My Arm: Yep, My Arm.
    • Player: But why is he called...
    • Burntmeat: It a perfectly good troll name.
    • Player: Alright, enough! What do you want me to do for this Arm person?
    • Burntmeat: You gonna help My Arm grow goutweed.
    • Player: Look, you're a vicious monster who eats innocent people! Why should I ever help you again?
    • Burntmeat: See, [player name], if My Arm learns to grow goutweed, I get as much goutweed as I ever want. If dat happens, I promise you I never cook another human in my life.
    • Player: Never?
    • Burntmeat: Never. Burntmeat promises. Goat taste just as good as human if you add enough goutweed. Now you go talk to My Arm; he tell you what to do.
    • What would you like to say?
    • Can I have all that dragon stuff as my reward?
      • Player: Can I have all that dragon stuff as my reward?
      • Burntmeat: What dragon stuff you talking 'bout?
      • Player: When you were telling me about the man you cooked who talked about goutweed, there was loads of valuable stuff on the floor. Can I have it? PLEASE!
      • Burntmeat: Sorry, Player - Burntmeat chucked dat stuff away. It no good to eat. Red metal clothes hurt troll teeth, and big whip thing get stuck in throat.
      • If the player has completed Swan Song.
        • Player: Gah! You're worse than the old man who wouldn't give me his hat!
      • If the player has not completed Swan Song.
        • Player: ...
      • Burntmeat: You go help My Arm now.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • Alright, I'll lend him a hand.
      • Player: Alright, I'll lend him a hand. But you'd better keep that promise about not cooking any more people!
      • (End of dialogue)
  • No.
    • Player: You're disgusting! I'm not helping you again.
    • Burntmeat: Aww, now you done hurt Burntmeat's feelings.
    • (End of dialogue)

If the Burntmeat cutscene is interrupted

  • Burntmeat: If you not paying attention, Burntmeat not going to talk to you!
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Burntmeat after interrupting his cutscene

  • Player: You were about to tell me about some job...
  • Burntmeat: Yep, I remember. See, when you come here asking me 'bout goutweed dat other time, I tell you how we trolls had picked it all, and it not grow no more.
  • Player: Right, you told me the only goutweed anywhere in the world was in your storage room.
  • Continues above from "Yah. But Burntmeat is hearing where goutweed is growing again."

Talking to Burntmeat after agreeing to help My Arm

  • Burntmeat: You get on with helping My Arm, yah?
  • Player: Okay, okay, I'll do it.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm

  • Player: Before I start helping you with the whole farming thing, could you just explain why you're called My Arm?
  • My Arm: Dat's easy! You know we trolls named after der first thing wot we try to eat when we young?
  • Player: Okay, so what did you try to eat?
  • My Arm: It were my dad's arm. I remember it look so big holding me, I just gotta give it a chew. So he done named me My Arm.
  • Player: And no one thinks it's a silly name?
  • If My Arm has recently spoken to another player:
    • My Arm: Well, I seen worse. Most humans come through here, dey got names with like all numbers and things wot aren't even words! I met some [man/woman] earlier wot called [himself/herself] [other player's name].
  • If My Arm has not recently spoken to another player:
    • My Arm: Well, I seen worse. Most humans come through here, dey got names with like all numbers and things wot aren't even words!
  • Player: Okay, okay, I'm sorry! (snicker)
  • My Arm: If you happy 'bout my name now, I tell you 'bout dis farming job.
  • Player: Alright, My Arm (snicker snicker), tell me about it.
  • My Arm: Okieday. Now, I heard 'bout dese gouty thingies before. Da cooks up on Death Plateau were saying dey cooked a man wot had a lump in his pocket dat tasted like goutweed, but wasn't goutweed.
  • My Arm: My Arm is thinking this is da thingy we need.
  • Player: So what do we do about it?
  • My Arm: You go to Death Plateau and search da big cooking pot for da goutweedy lump!
  • If the player has a gout tuber.
    • Player: There's no need for that. I already have a tuber. Do you want to see it?
    • My Arm: Just do as I say, yah?
    • Player: But there's no point in worrying about some weird lump on Death Plateau when I've got a tuber.
    • My Arm: I not want to see your tuber! My Arm is organised troll who gets one thing done at a time. I need da goutweedy lump from da cooking pot on Death Plateau.
    • Player: Hmph.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If the player doesn't have a gout tuber.
    • Player: Why do I need to go there? Can't I just get you a proper gout tuber?
    • My Arm: Never mind tubers. You fetch me da goutweedy lump from da cooking pot of Dung 'n' Ash on Death Plateau.
    • Player: Hmph.
    • My Arm: Go see Burntmeat - he give good directions for getting there.
    • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm again

  • My Arm: You got da goutweedy lump yet?
  • What would you like to say?
  • No, not yet.
    • Player: No, not yet.
    • My Arm: You go getting yourself a move on, yah? My Arm getting bored. Ask Burntmeat if you needin' help findin' da place.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • What was it you wanted?
    • Player: What was it you wanted?
    • My Arm: You is a bit forgetful. If you like, My Arm give you nice tap on head to clear out cobbiewebs from brain.
    • Player: No! Just tell me what it was you wanted.
    • My Arm: Okieday, maybe some other time. Now, what you gotta do is go to Death Plateau and fetch me da goutweedy lump from da big cooking pot.
    • Player: Oh yes, how could I forget?
    • My Arm: Perhaps you is a bit thick in da head. Ask Burntmeat if you needin' help findin' da place.
    • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Burntmeat after talking to My Arm

  • Burntmeat: How you an' My Arm getting on with da goutweed?
  • Player: He wants me to fetch something from a cauldron on Death Plateau.
  • Burntmeat: Death Plateau, huh? Dat's quite a long way. Do you know how to get dere?
  • What would you like to say?
  • I am a navigational genius; I'll be fine.
    • Player: I am a navigational genius; I'll be fine.
    • Burntmeat: Okieday. Just you mind out for dem troll cooks on Death Plateau - dey not as friendly as Burntmeat.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • This place is a maze - got any advice?
    • Player: This place is a maze - got any advice?
    • Burntmeat: Okieday, listen up an' Burntmeat tell you da best way to Death Plateau...
    • Cutscene begins.
    • Burntmeat: You go out da north door of my kitchen an' walk all da way down da corridor.
    • Burntmeat: Turn right at da end, and go down da stairs to da prison where we keep meat fresh.
    • Player: A prison where you keep meat fresh?
    • Burntmeat: Yup. Can't keep people in crates like goutweed, dey go all dead an' smelly. Burntmeat tried it.
    • Player: ...
    • Burntmeat: Walk straight through da prison. Da back door of da Stronghold is at da south end.
    • Player: Okay, so I've gone northwards up the corridor, down the stairs, then southwards through the prison.
    • Burntmeat: Dat is correct. Now you gettin' outside...
    • Burntmeat: When you outside, you turn left an' go long way south-east along path.
    • If the player has climbing boots.
      • Burntmeat: At the end, you gotta turn left for Death Plateau. You got da special boots, so you gonna be okay on da rocks there.
    • If the player doesn't have climbing boots.
      • Burntmeat: At the end, you gotta turn left for Death Plateau. But watch out for da tricky rocks - maybe you gonna have trouble climbing dem.
      • Player: How do I get to Death Plateau if I can't climb the rocks?
      • Burntmeat: Burntmeat heard where da humans going on Death Plateau wear funny boots to help climb rocks. Dey get da boots from little dwarf woman wot lives near da plateau. Turn right to go to her house.
    • Cutscene ends
    • Player: Thanks, you've been remarkably helpful, considering that you're a horrible monster who eats innocent people.
    • Burntmeat: Aww! You hurry up an' get My Arm what he wanting.
    • (End of dialogue)

Obtaining the goutweedy lump

  • You dip the bucket into the pot...
  • ... And find something lumpy.
  • (Player receives goutweedy lump.)
  • Player: Ow - HOT!

Attempting to scoop from the pot again

  • You dip the bucket into the pot...
  • ...but you don't find anything nice.

Talking to Burntmeat after obtaining the goutweedy lump

  • Burntmeat: How you an' My Arm getting on with da goutweed?
  • Player: So far he's had me go to Death Plateau to fetch a weird lump from the cauldron there.
  • Burntmeat: Da cooks on da plateau not as good as Burntmeat.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving the goutweedy lump to My Arm

  • My Arm: You got da goutweedy lump yet?
  • Player: Yes, I have it. Here, take the thing.
  • My Arm: Huh. It looking a bit tatty...
  • Player: So are you.
  • My Arm: ... but it smelling like goutweed.
  • (Player gives goutweedy lump.)
  • My Arm has eaten the goutweedy lump.
  • Player: You ate it!
  • My Arm: Yep, it tasting like goutweed too.
  • Player: So what are you going to do now?
  • My Arm: Well, now My Arm know dese goutweedy lump things exist, you help me grow one, yah?
  • Player: Alright. Where do you need me to start?
  • My Arm: My Arm done tried farming before. I stick all kindsa things in da ground, but nothing ever grow, not even when I water 'em.
  • Player: What did you plant?
  • My Arm: I bin planting everythin', [player name]. Sticks, rocks, dead goats... you name it.
  • Player: And none of those things grew?
  • My Arm: Nope, not even a smidgen. My Arm dug 'em up again to see.
  • Player: So did you try getting help from someone who knows about farming?
  • My Arm: Yah, My Arm found a nice farmer and ate him, but he not help much. He taste kinda boring too.
  • Player: You're not very clever, are you?
  • My Arm: My ol' mum say I clever enough. What you getting at?
  • Player: Oh, nothing. Maybe I should see where you've been doing all this farming?
  • My Arm: Sure t'ing, Player. I show you...
  • My Arm leads you through the Troll Stronghold...
  • My Arm: Hurry up, <player name>!
  • My Arm: Dis is Troll Generals' cave.
  • My Arm: Climb up 'ere.

Interrupting the dialogue after giving My Arm the goutweedy lump

  • My Arm: You done good fetching dat goutweedy lump. My Arm very impressed.
  • Continues from "So what are you going to do now?" above.

Talking to Burntmeat after My Arm eats the goutweedy lump

  • Burntmeat: How you an' My Arm getting on with da goutweed?
  • Player: So far he's had me fetch some kind of lump from a pot on Death Plateau. I can't imagine what he'll want next.
  • Burntmeat: Huh... Let me know when we got goutweed growing.
  • Player: Yeah, whatever.
  • (End of dialogue)

Fertiliser

Talking to My Arm on the roof

  • My Arm: Dis is my quiet place. No other trolls come up here. It where I bin trying to grow stuff.
  • Player: It's a bit windy up here.
  • If the player has Ugthanki dung.
    • My Arm: Dat is good, cos you smellin' distinctly whiffy. It like you got all dung in your pockets or something. Or maybe you needing a wash.
    • Player: I wash more than enough!
    • My Arm: Okieday, maybe My Arm imagining da smell.
  • If the player doesn't have Ugthanki dung.
    • My Arm: Yup, but My Arm not mind. We trolls not get blown around by wind like diddy little humans.
  • Player: So you think you could grow things here?
  • My Arm: I t'ink so, yah. I got book 'bout farming for you to read.
  • Player: Where in the world did YOU get a book?
  • My Arm: Dat farmer I ate had a book with him. My Arm is hopin' you knows how to read.
  • (Player receives farming manual.)
  • Player: Farmer Gricoller's Farming Manual?
  • My Arm: My Arm not know what in book, so you read it, yuh? Perhaps it tell you how to grow t'ings up on mountain.
  • Player: Alright, I'll have a look inside.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm again before reading the manual

  • My Arm: You know how to read book I got off farmer?
  • Player: Of course I can read it! Just give me a moment.
  • My Arm: If you forget how to read, it not a problem. My Arm give you little tap on head and maybe you remember again, no trouble.
  • Player: No thanks, that won't be necessary.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm after losing the manual

  • Continues from "Dat farmer I ate had a book with him."

Talking to My Arm again after reading the manual

  • My Arm: You know how to read book I got off farmer?
  • Player: Of course; I've been reading it.
  • My Arm: Dat's good. Is it any use?
  • Player: There's a useful section about preparing soil for growing crops. For a mountain area, it says we need to mix three buckets of camel dung and seven buckets of supercompost into the soil.
  • My Arm: Urgh. Dat's a lotta camel dung.
  • If the player has 3 ugthanki dung.
    • Player: Fortunately, I've got enough dung with me.
    • My Arm: My Arm not like to say so earlier, but you bin smellin' like you done a whoopsie.
    • Player: Thanks a lot!
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If the player doesn't have 3 ugthanki dung.
    • Player: Have you any dung in the Stronghold I could use?
    • My Arm: Why you think trolls keep dung in Stronghold? Do you keep dung in your house?
    • Player: It was worth a try.
    • My Arm: You could go ask a camel for some dung. I bet dey got plenty.
    • Player: Ask a camel for dung?
    • My Arm: Best way to get somefing: find someone who got plenty of it wot they don't want.
    • If the player is wearing a camulet.
      • Player: How handy - I've got an amulet that lets me talk to camels.
      • My Arm: Clever human. Off you go now.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has a camulet in their inventory.
      • Player: How handy - I'm already carrying my Camulet.
      • My Arm: Clever human. Off you go now.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has a camulet in the bank.
      • Player: Okay, I guess it's time for me to dig that old Camulet out of the bank.
      • My Arm: That could help. Off you go now.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has completed Enakhra's Lament and doesn't have their camulet.
      • Player: If only I still had that Camulet I got in that weird temple in the desert...
      • My Arm: Wot a shame; off you go now.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has not completed Enakhra's Lament.
      • Player: Of course, it'd be silly for me to ask a camel. I can't talk to camels. But I do remember getting some camel dung before, in some desert town once...
      • My Arm: My Arm is sure you'll find some way to get dung out of a camel. Now trot along.
      • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm after being told to fetch camel dung

  • My Arm: You put all dat dung and stuff in da soil yet?
  • Player: No, not yet. I'm working on it.
  • My Arm: You be getting move on, [player name].
  • (End of dialogue)

Preparing the patch

Using supercompost on the patch without a spade

  • Player: I need a spade to dig the supercompost in properly.
  • (End of dialogue)

Using ugthanki dung on the patch without a spade

  • Player: I'm not mixing dung into the soil with my hands! I need a spade to dig it in properly.
  • (End of dialogue)

Using normal compost or ultracompost on the patch

  • Player: Unfortunately the book definitely said SUPERcompost.
  • (End of dialogue)

Using an irrelevant item on the patch

  • Player: I don't think that's going to help just now.
  • (End of dialogue)

Adding the last supercompost to the patch

  • Player: Great, that's enough supercompost.
  • (End of dialogue)

Adding more supercompost than needed

  • Player: I don't think it'll need any more supercompost.
  • (End of dialogue)

Adding the last ugthanki dung to the patch

  • Player: Phew - that's enough dung.
  • (End of dialogue)

Adding more ugthanki dung than needed

  • Player: I think I've given it enough dung already.

Using an item on the patch after adding enough compost and dung

  • Player: My Arm can tend the patch himself. I'm not growing the goutweed for him.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm after treating the patch

  • Player: I've finished treating that soil patch for you.
  • My Arm: Good, good. Always I bin wanting a farming patch to grow things in. Da soggy bits south of here, they not work at all.
  • Player: So what do we need to do now?
  • My Arm: Now we do like dat man say to Burntmeat. We gotta go to Tai Bwo Wannai Village and see Murcaily 'bout growing goutweed.
  • If the player has a gout tuber.
    • Player: We don't need to go there. I've got a gout tuber.
    • My Arm: I not wanna be gettin' confused with your tuber. Man tell Burntmeat we need to go see Murcaily to grow goutweed, so dat where we going.
    • Player: You really need to be more flexible.
    • My Arm: Trolls not flexible creatures. Humans too flexible; dey got little necks wot snap easy as anything.
  • Player: It's a long way to Tai Bwo Wannai Village. We're going to need a boat...
  • Screen fades, player and My Arm appear at Ardougne docks.
  • Captain Barnaby: What in the world is that THING?
  • What would you like to say?
  • That is My Arm. We'd like to go to Karamja.
    • Player: That is My Arm. We'd like to go to Karamja.
    • Captain Barnaby: This is your what?
    • Player: He's a troll. His name is My Arm.
    • My Arm: Yup, My Arm.
    • Captain Barnaby: Whose arm?
    • Player: Never mind that now, we just want to go to Karamja. Can you take us?
    • My Arm: It was my dad's arm.
    • Captain Barnaby: What about your dad's arm?
    • My Arm: My Arm tried to eat it.
    • Captain Barnaby: Your arm did what?
    • Player: Will you take us to Karamja?
    • Captain Barnaby: I don't think I want the mad troll.
    • Captain Barnaby: Or his arm.
    • Player: Either you can take us to Karamja, or you can discuss it with My Arm.
    • Captain Barnaby: Oh no, not your arm too...
    • Player: So you'll take us?
    • Captain Barnaby: Alright, just get the arm thing onto the ship.
    • Cutscene begins.
    • My Arm is thinking...
    • My Arm: Urrrgh!
    • Player: What?
    • My Arm: My Arm not liking dis.
    • Player: What's wrong with your ar... What's wrong with you?
    • My Arm: You ever hear stories of troll sailors or troll pirates?
    • Player: Um... can't think of any just now.
    • My Arm: Dat 'cos trolls don't like da sea. We kinda sink.
    • If the player has started Swan Song.
      • Player: I'm sure I've met some trolls that lived in the sea. There's a Fishing Colony up in the north-west.
    • If the player has not started Swan Song.
      • Player: Aren't there... river trolls and sea trolls and things? They seem happy enough in the sea.
    • My Arm: Them not proper trolls. Proper trolls live in mountains.
    • Player: But they look just like land trolls!
    • My Arm: We trolls. Them not trolls. 'Nuff said.
    • Player: Oh, please yourself!
    • My Arm is thinking...
    • My Arm: Are we dere yet?
    • Player: No! Look - no land.
    • My Arm is thinking...
    • My Arm: How 'bout now?
    • Player: Still. No. Land.
    • My Arm is thinking...
    • My Arm: You gettin' angry with My Arm, huh?
    • Player: No, no.
    • My Arm: Is it 'cos I is thick?
    • Player: I'm not angry with you.
    • My Arm: Oh, right.
    • My Arm is thinking...
    • My Arm: Are we dere now?
    • Cutscene ends.
    • My Arm: Urrrgh! My Arm feeling sick...
    • My Arm: We will meet at dat village, yah?
    • Player: What?
    • Player: Oh, he's gone. I hope he knows the way to Tai Bwo Wannai Village.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • (Non-quest dialogue) I'd like to go to Rimmington.
  • I think I'll come back another time.
    • Player: I think I'll come back another time.
    • Captain Barnaby: But... that thing?
    • Player: Oh, he'll be fine just standing here.
    • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm at Ardougne docks

  • My Arm: What we waitin' for here?
  • Player: I have to ask Captain Barnaby to let us onto his ship.
  • My Arm: Okieday, My Arm gonna let you do the talking. He not seem to like me standin' here.
  • (End of dialogue)

Periodically while sailing

  • Captain Barnaby: Aaaaargh!

Karamja

Talking to My Arm outside Tai Bwo Wannai

  • My Arm: So dis is Tai Bwo Wannai Village, huh?
  • Player: Yes, that's right. I've been here before when the villagers thought their village was cursed. I had to fetch some special herbs for their shaman.
  • My Arm: You doin' a lot of favours for people. Is dere anything in it for you?
  • Player: I usually get something. Except that time when Burntmeat made me fetch him a 'tasty human' for his stew. All he gave me was some burnt meat.
  • My Arm: You not like Burntmeat's cooking?
  • Player: Believe it or not, I didn't like it at all.
  • My Arm: Dat a pity. He planning to give you more burnt meat when you done helpin' me. Maybe My Arm think of something better for you. But first you go find Murcaily - he gotta help us grow goutweed.
  • Player: Murcaily, right.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm again

  • My Arm: You done spoken to Murcaily 'bout goutweed yet?
  • Player: I'll get around to it.
  • My Arm: You slow. My Arm gettin' bored.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Murcaily before talking to My Arm

  • Murcaily: Is there anything I can do for you, Bwana?
  • Player: Have you seen My Arm around here?
  • Murcaily: Umm... Bwana... I can see both of them. They are attached to your shoulders, yes?
  • Player: What? Oh, forget I said that! Have you seen a troll around here?
  • Murcaily: I do not know what one of those is, Bwana, but I am sure there are none in our village.
  • Player: Dratted creature - where can he be? He was meant to be coming here.
  • Murcaily: Well, Bwana, when I am looking for someone, I find it helps to think about where they may be. If your friend was travelling this way, he is surely between here and the place where you last saw him.
  • Player: Let's see... I saw him in Brimhaven, but he ran off. He was coming this way to your village.
  • Murcaily: Then perhaps you should look for your friend along the route to Brimhaven.
  • Player: Thanks!
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Murcaily after talking to My Arm

  • Murcaily: Is there anything I can do for you, Bwana?
  • What would you like to say?
  • A troll called My Arm wants a favour...
    • Player: A troll called My Arm wants a favour from you. He wants to grow goutweed and he thinks you can help.
    • Murcaily: What's a troll? And what was that about your arm, Bwana?
    • Player: I really don't want to discuss it. Can you help this creature grow goutweed?
    • Murcaily: Goutweed? People grow it in farming patches all the time. Have you tried planting a gout tuber in your patch?
    • Player: No, the silly troll won't listen. He had me bring him all the way down from the mountains to ask you about it.
    • Murcaily: You want to grow it in the mountains, Bwana? That might be more difficult. Gout tubers only grow well in warm places with plenty of sun.
    • Player: You mean we aren't going to be able to grow it in the mountains?
    • Murcaily: No, not with a normal gout tuber. Those just won't survive the conditions. You'll need a special hardy gout tuber.
    • Player: Oh, wonderful. Can you give me some of those, please?
    • Murcaily: Oh no, Bwana. Those are far too valuable to give away.
    • Player: You owe me a bit of favour for the work I've been doing around the village. Are you sure you can't let me have some hardy gout tubers for the troll?
    • If the player has enough favour.
      • Murcaily: Oh, I suppose I could let you have one. But only because you've got over sixty percent favour. If we didn't owe you so much for your help, I'd not be giving out hardy gout tubers.
      • Player: So this hardy tuber will grow like any other herb seed?
      • Murcaily: It grows much faster than any other I have seen, Bwana. But remember, although it is hardy enough to grow in the cold mountain lands, it may still become diseased.
      • Murcaily has given you a hardy gout tuber.
      • Cutscene begins.
      • My Arm: My Arm bored...
      • Fade to Murcaily and the player.
      • Da Rumble in da Jungle!
      • Murcaily: What is this noise?
      • Fade to My Arm hitting a medium jungle.
      • My Arm: Where's da goutweed?
      • Qutiedoll approaches My Arm.
      • Qutiedoll: Agh - a troll!
      • My Arm hits the medium jungle again.
      • My Arm: Want goutweed!
      • Qutiedoll: Eek!
      • Qutiedoll runs away. Murcaily approaches My Arm.
      • Murcaily: Hey!
      • Murcaily: What are you doing?
      • My Arm: My Arm want goutweed!
      • Murcaily: Be careful!
      • A broodoo victim appears.
      • Murcaily: A broodoo man!
      • Murcaily runs away.
      • My Arm: Has you got goutweed?
      • The broodoo victim attacks My Arm.
      • My Arm: Ow!
      • My Arm: Grrr!
      • My Arm punches the broodoo victim away.
      • My Arm: Still want goutweed!
      • My Arm starts hitting another medium jungle. Murcaily returns with Jagdakobo.
      • Murcaily: Jagdakobo - here is the monster!
      • Jagdakobo: Prepare to die!
      • My Arm: Where you keep goutweed?
      • Jagdakobo attacks My Arm.
      • My Arm: Ow!
      • Jagdakobo and My Arm fight.
      • My Arm: You got issues!
      • My Arm punches Jagdakobo away.
      • My Arm: Humans all mental.
      • Cut to Murcaily and the player. Murcaily cries.
      • Murcaily: Make it go away!
      • Murcaily: I'll give you anything!
      • My Arm: My Arm want goutweed!
      • Murcaily: Okay, here you go.
      • Murcaily walks to the player.
      • Murcaily has given you lots more hardy gout tubers.
      • Cutscene ends.
      • Player: What the heck was all THAT about?
      • My Arm: You take far too long chattin' with Murcaily. My Arm come in to hurry things up.
      • Player: You could have really damaged their village!
      • My Arm: Silly humans got such flimsy homes. One good thump an' der walls come down.
      • Player: If you ever come to [location of player-owned house], I'm not letting you into my house.
      • My Arm: Anyway, you got da goutweedy stuff, right?
      • If the player has the hardy gout tubers.
        • Player: Yes, I've got plenty of hardy gout tubers.
        • My Arm: Right. Let's get back to da ship an' go back to Ardougne. My Arm fink you need to go to da bank.
        • Player: What do you think I need from the bank?
        • My Arm: See, [player name], My Arm done tried planting stuff before, an' da birds around Trollheim Mountain, dey got... interested.
        • Player: The birds got interested in watching your farm?
        • My Arm: Yuh, an' dere was a great BIG one wot started trying to eat whatever I planted.
        • Player: Exactly how BIG was this bird?
        • My Arm: It pretty BIG. You might wanna get some food an' stuff.
        • Player: Are we talking bigger than... a pigeon?
        • My Arm: How 'bout we just go back to Ardougne so you can get your fightin' stuff...
        • Cutscene begins.
        • My Arm is thinking...
        • My Arm: Dat captain didn't look very happy to see us again.
        • Player: No, he wasn't.
        • My Arm is thinking...
        • My Arm: What was dat you said to him?
        • Player: I told him he'd better take us back, or else...
        • My Arm: Or else what?
        • Player: Or else I'd let my arm loose on him.
        • My Arm is thinking...
        • My Arm: So... are we dere yet?
        • Ardougne has never seemed so far away...
        • Cutscene ends.
        • My Arm: You probably wanna go to bank now to fetch yer fightin' stuff. When you finished, go back to da Troll Stronghold. My Arm gonna be waitin' by our farming patch on da roof.
        • Player: How are you going to get back to the Troll Stronghold?
        • My Arm: Dat not your problem.
        • Player: Alright, I'll see you there.
        • (End of dialogue)
      • If the player doesn't have the hardy gout tubers.
        • Player: Actually, I seem to have thrown it away.
        • My Arm: You is dumber than a spotted kebbit! Go back an' ask Murcaily for some more!
        • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player doesn't have enough favour.
      • Murcaily: Oh, I hadn't thought of that...
      • Murcaily: No, Bwana, I'm very sorry, but you'll need to do a bit more work for us before we'll be able to spare you any hardy gout tubers.
      • Player: Roughly how much more favour do I need?
      • Murcaily: Let me see... I think if you get it up to 60 percent, I'd be able to let you have a hardy gout tuber for your friend.
      • Player: I don't suppose you'd accept trading sticks instead?
      • Murcaily: Sorry, Bwana, but I don't need those. I get plenty of trading sticks from all the people wanting to use my hardwood grove. Hardy gout tubers are too precious to be bought like that.
      • (End of dialogue)
  • (Non-quest dialogue) What do you do here?
  • (Non-quest dialogue) Is there anything interesting to do around here?

Talking to Murcaily again after previously not having enough favour

  • Player: I was asking you about hardy goutweed...
  • If the player doesn't have enough favour.
    • Murcaily: Yes, Bwana, I remember. You wanted a hardy gout tuber so your friend could grow goutweed on his mountain. But you only have [0-59] percent favour in our village. Come back to me with at least 60 percent favour and I will let you have what you need.
    • Player: Fair enough.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If the player has enough favour.
    • Murcaily: Yes, Bwana, I remember. We owe you big-time for the work you done in Tai Bwo Wannai Village, so I can let you have a hardy gout tuber for your friend to grow on his mountain.
    • Continues from "So this hardy tuber will grow like any other herb seed?" above.

The Rocs

Talking to My Arm at the patch

  • My Arm: Ah, dulce domum.
  • Player: What did you say?
  • My Arm: It mean somefing like 'Home sweet home' in some old language. My Arm is well ed-oo-cated troll, not some no-brain rockhead.
  • Player: Riiight. Shall we get on with growing the goutweed now?
  • My Arm: Yup, dat sound good. You show me how to do dat.
  • Player: Ok, I'll hand you what you need, and you can use it on the patch.

Giving My Arm farming items

Talking to My Arm before weeding

  • My Arm: How's my farming coming along?
  • Player: Well, you've got a nice crop of weeds.
  • My Arm: I not go to all dis trouble to grow weedies! You supposed to help me grow goutweed!
  • Player: Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that in a bit.
  • My Arm: You give me what stuff I need to use on da patch and I use it. And hurry up, My Arm gettin' bored.
  • Player: We should start by raking it.
  • My Arm: Okieday, you gimme a rake an' My Arm do it.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving seed dibber before weeding

  • My Arm: I can't get da goutweed thing in da ground with all these weeds here.
  • (End of dialogue)

Plant cure before weeding

  • My Arm: Da weedies look healthy enough, t'anks.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving spade before weeding

  • My Arm: Da spade not working on dese weedies.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving an irrelevant item

  • My Arm: I not sure what you want me to do with dat.
  • Player: Oh, forget it.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving banknotes

  • My Arm: I not want your bitty bit of paper.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving compost after the patch is already treated

  • My Arm: I t'ink we already treated da soil.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving rake head

  • My Arm: Dat lookin' a bit short!
  • Player: Oh... there should be more of it than that. Sorry.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving rake handle

  • My Arm: What you t'ink I want with a stick, huh?
  • Player: Oh... there should be more of it than that. Sorry.
  • (End of dialogue)

Attaching the rake handle and head

  • You reattach the rake head to the handle.

Talking to My Arm after weeding

  • My Arm: How's my farming coming along?
  • Player: The patch is free from weeds, so we could plant a hardy tuber in it.
  • My Arm: Already?
  • Player: Well, I suppose we could treat the soil with compost first.
  • If My Arm was not given the hardy gout tubers.
    • My Arm: After dat you probably wanna give me da hardy gout tuber thingies, an' maybe somefing to poke 'em into da soil.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If My Arm was given the hardy gout tubers.
    • My Arm: Also, I got plenty of da hardy gout tuber thingies, but I gonna need somefing to poke 'em into da soil.
    • (End of dialogue)

Giving rake or spade after weeding

  • My Arm: Nuffing' interesting happened.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving seed dibber before tubers

  • My Arm: Don't I need somefing to plant?
  • Player: Oh yes, you'll need the gout tubers.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving hardy gout tubers

  • My Arm: T'anks, [player name].
  • (End of dialogue)

After My Arm plants the gout tubers

  • Cutscene begins.
  • Drunken dwarf: 'Ello, matey!
  • My Arm: You a dwarf.
  • My Arm: You not my matey!
  • My Arm hits the dwarf away.
  • Drunken dwarf: Aaaargh - matey!
  • Unnamed troll child: Ooh. Food for me?
  • Cutscene ends.
  • Player: Aww, poor dwarfie. But he's sure to turn up again one of these days - drunken dwarves always keep coming back...
  • My Arm: Uh-oh - I fink da birds noticed us farming...
  • Cutscene begins.
  • My Arm: Akka akka!
  • My Arm: Save da goutweed!
  • Baby roc appears.
  • Tool leprechaun: Heheh - ickle birdie!
  • Baby roc flies to the goutweed.
  • My Arm: Akka!
  • Player: You're worried about that?
  • My Arm: It gonna eat da goutweed - kill it, quick!
  • (End of dialogue)

After killing the baby roc

  • My Arm: T'anks for saving da goutweed, [player name]. But I fink dis other birdie not happy with you...
  • Player: What other birdie?
  • My Arm: Dat birdie behind you.
  • Giant Roc appears and attacks.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm after defeating the giant roc

  • My Arm: Ah, lovely goutweed all grown up.
  • Player: Yep, you can harvest it now.
  • My Arm: I gonna need a spade.
  • Player: Alright, I think I can arrange a spade for you.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving My Arm an item other than a spade

  • My Arm: T'ank you very much for da kind offer, but My Arm not really needin' one of those just now.
  • (End of dialogue)

Attempting to pick the goutweed

  • Player: I think My Arm should do the honours.
  • (End of dialogue)

Giving My Arm a spade

  • As My Arm harvests his crop, you gain Farming XP.
  • My Arm: W00t - farming level!
  • Congratulations! My Arm just advanced a Farming level.
  • My Arm: T'ank you so much for all da help! Burntmeat gonna be very pleased.
  • Player: I'm just glad the goutweed grew up okay.
  • My Arm: My Arm just check dis da right stuff...
  • My Arm: Yup, dis is goutweed. It lovverley.
  • Player: Don't eat it all!
  • My Arm: Aww, too late.
  • Player: ...
  • My Arm: You gotta go back to kitchen an' tell Burntmeat da good news. Maybe he give you nice reward for all da hard work you bin doin' for us. But if he not give you anyfing good, you come back an' see My Arm.
  • Player: Thanks, I'll remember that.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm again before talking to Burntmeat

  • My Arm: Did Burntmeat give you nice reward?
  • Player: No, I haven't asked him yet.
  • My Arm: He downstairs in da kitchen. An' if he give you somefing rubbish, come tell My Arm. Maybe I can reward you better.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Burntmeat

  • Player: We've done it! My Arm's managed to grow some goutweed on the roof of the Stronghold!
  • Burntmeat: So now we can grow goutweed whenever we want it?
  • Player: Yes, he's got plenty of hardy gout tubers to grow in his little farming patch.
  • Burntmeat: T'ank you so much! I dunno what we'd have done if you not come through here to help us.
  • Player: So... you mentioned a reward?
  • Burntmeat: Oh yup, Burntmeat cooked you SPECIAL reward.
  • (Player receives full inventory of burnt meat.)
  • Burntmeat: LOTS of burnt meat!
  • Player: ...
  • Burntmeat: See, Burntmeat promised you a reward! Anyway, it been nice to see you again, Player. Enjoy your meal.
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to Burntmeat again

  • Burntmeat: Burntmeat hope you like your reward. It very special recipe Burntmeat learned when much younger troll.
  • What would you like to say?
  • It was very kind of you.
    • Player: Yes, it was very... kind of you.
    • Burntmeat: Ah, you polite human. Off you go now and see what My Arm want.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • That was the worst reward EVER!
    • Player: That was the worst quest reward EVER! I get better things from killing goblins! I get better things from killing SPIDERS! Why in the world did I ever do a quest for a troll? I could have been training my skills
    • Player: instead!
    • If the player has completed Gertrude's Cat
      • Player: I could have trained a cat and got a load of death runes!
    • If the player has played Pest Control
      • Player: I could have gone back to Pest Control and helped save the universe from hideous monsters!
    • Player: But no, I did a quest for a troll, and what did I get?
    • Player: BURNT MEAT! What am I meant to do with burnt meat? I don't WANT burnt meat!
    • Burntmeat: Human so funny, pretending [he/she] don't like lovely burnt meat! Off you go now and see what My Arm wants.
    • (End of dialogue)

Talking to My Arm after talking to Burntmeat

  • My Arm: Did Burntmeat give you nice reward?
  • Player: No, he jolly well didn't. He gave me burnt meat. Again!
  • My Arm: Aww, dat a shame. See, Burntmeat like burnt meat. It his favourite thing to cook, an' he do it better than any other troll.
  • Player: You said you might be able to give me something better?
  • My Arm: Yup, an' I will. My Arm gonna tell you big hushy-hushy secret about herbs...
  • My Arm tells you a secret about herbs.
  • Player: Aha!
  • My Arm: Now you know more 'bout herbs. Also, I made a new farming patch like you showed me. Whatever you plant in it, I make sure it don't get disease.
  • Congratulations, you've completed a quest: My Arm's Big Adventure
  • (End of dialogue)
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