Transcript:A very good dog

This topic name is not found in-game.

While the name or title of this topic is not officially recognised in-game, the information contained on this page is still considered to be canon and is based on official sources.

This official Postbag from the Hedge is copied verbatim from the Old School RuneScape website. It is copyrighted by Jagex.
It was added on [[{{#explode:24 August 2024| |0}} {{#explode:24 August 2024| |1}}]] [[{{#explode:24 August 2024| |2}}]].

This transcript involves dialogue with Postie Pete, Cuthbert, Wise Old Man, Demon butler, Prison Pete, and Stray dog.

Ahh, it’s good to be back! I’ve been wandering all over the place – if I had feet, I bet they’d be worn out! Silver linings, eh?

Let’s take a look at the letters we’ve received while I’ve been away... Oh, there’s one for me!

From Little Witch

I've learned from other denizens of Gielinor that, for decades, you had stopped collecting mail. Is this true?

If so, is it because you had been participating in a labor strike? Or are the men and women I had spoken to under a mass-delusion event?

Either way, I'm very glad to see you making the rounds again.

Much respect,

Little Witch

P.S. What is the roughest region to deliver mail to? I'd imagine it's Canifis, considering your calcium-robust form, and the fact they seem to chase after anything with a loose bag out there.

Hello there!

Please, call me Postie! Mr Pete is all my brothers’ names.

Ah, you’re talking about the great interdimensional postal crisis of 164. You see, delivering mail around Gielinor is easy enough, but carrying letters back and forth from you lot to all your friends over here is a lot more complicated! We used to have a dedicated Postal Wizard to handle all the fiddly portal stuff, but now, as you’ve correctly surmised, it’s a bit more ad hoc.

Still, we manage well enough!

And don’t get me started on Canifis! I’m still trying to find out where the rest of my bones got to...

From Betafrost

Dear Cuthbert, Lord of Dread,

I recently engaged you in a duel to the death to determine the fate of humankind (and frogkind), and I do not expect you to forgive me from beyond the grave for your defeat. Our battle was legendary, but it got me thinking: how did you come across your moniker? "Lord of Dread" is a very impressive title.

Your eternal foe,

Betafrost

CURSE YE, BETAFROST!

The source of my impressive, and very powerful title is known only to me (and a select few other oasis dwellers). Needless to say, I achieved it by being the deadliest, most ruthless, most dreaded frog in all of Varlamore. No mean feat, I tell you – so back off, lest I be forced to raise my slimy hands against you once more! Next time, I assure you, The Lord of Dread shall prevail!

Best,

Cuthbert, LORD OF DREAD

From Altihnkaii

Hello Wise Old Man, I come to write you to obtain answers. I would like to help my good friend Norman in Falador out and defeat his demon, yet I have no idea who or what is haunting him. With all your experience, could you guide me to whom this creature is?

Kind regards,

Altihnkaii

Dear Altihnkaii

A demon? In Falador? This is grave news indeed, and yet I do wonder whether your friend Norman might have been ‘telling porkies’, as we say in the adventuring business. Now Falador’s a rather cosmopolitan city, and I think there’s a good chance that the ‘demon’ your friend saw might have been some mage or other up to a few hijinks. You should see the silliness that goes on over at the Wizards Tower! Students turning their heads into pumpkins, enchanted doors marching through the streets of Draynor... it’s all rather much.

Next time Norman sees this ‘demon’, he ought to empty a big bucket of water on its head! That’ll teach ‘em.

Yours,

The Wise Old Man

From maimegidola

Dear Alathazdrar, the Demon Butler Thaz (is it ok if I call you Thaz?) if you read this, I'm free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I'm free.

Greetings, my lord.

Regrettably, I am not free on Thursday night. Please accept my humble apologies, but bingo waits for no man.

Yours,

‘Thaz’

From Long Noot

Dear Prison Pete,

I have saved you from Evil Bob's evil looking Party Room so many times.

How do you keep getting lured back?

Hello, Long Noot!

That’s a fantastic question! To tell the truth, I’m a bit stupid. Every time that horrible cat shows up, I just can’t resist giving him a pat on the head. He’s just got such a sweet round face! And such lovely little ears! And he’s SO fluffy! Oh, I could go on and on – but I must go, I need to look for this key...

-P.

From ItsLily

To the Varrock Stray Dog, Who’s a good dog?

Me! ME!

Ouch! There’s some very aggressive tail wagging going on over here, so I’m afraid I’ll have to say goodbye for now. See you next time! Oof!