Transcript:Longhall Bouncer

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Before The Fremennik Trials

Talking to him or attempting to open the door to the long hall backstage

  • Longhall bouncer: Hey, outerlander. You can't go through there. Talent only, backstage.
  • (End of dialogue)

During The Fremennik Trials

Trying to enter the backstage without an enchanted lyre

  • Longhall Bouncer: Get lost, outerlander. Performers only past this point.
  • Player: But I am a performer!
  • Longhall Bouncer: Oh, really? So where's your instrument?
  • Player: Um... I'm an acapella bard?
  • Longhall Bouncer: Oh, really? You won't mind singing me a quick song then.
  • Select the song to sing
  • Tie Me Chompy Bird Down
    • Player: Tie me chompy bird down, Rantz Tie me chompy bird down! Me stickers don't get no quicker, So tie me chompy bird down!
    • (continues below)
  • Murphy Row The Boat Ashore
    • Player: Murphy row the boat ashore... We are siiiiinking...
    • (continues below)
  • My Old Man's A Miner
    • Player: My old man's a miner, Spends all day mining ore, He wears a dragon ammy, And lives in Falador - Oi!
    • (continues below)
  • Elvarg The Magic Dragon
    • Player: Elvarg the magic dragon... Lives by the sea... He spends all his days eating folk, And dies occasionally...
    • (continues below)
  • Longhall Bouncer: That was a pile of tosh. Get lost, outerlander. You're a bard like I'm a goblin. Do I look stupid to you?
  • Player: Well, actually...
  • Longhall Bouncer: I said, get lost.
  • (End of dialogue)

After obtaining the enchanted lyre

  • Longhall Bouncer: You have an instrument now, huh? Go on through the door.
  • (End of dialogue)

Upon entering the backstage

  • Longhall Bouncer: Yeah, you're good to go through. Olaf tells me you're some kind of outerlander bard here on tour. I doubt you're worse than Olaf is.
  • (End of dialogue)

After completing the Bard's trial

  • Longhall Bouncer: You can't go through there. Talent only, backstage.
  • Player: But I'm a Bard!
  • Longhall Bouncer: No you're not. I saw your performance. I was paid well to keep you from ever setting foot on stage here again.
  • (End of dialogue)