Transcript:Art Critic Jacques

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Standard dialogue

  • Player: Hello.
  • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh many greetinks and welcomes to ze Museum!
  • Who are you?
    • Player: Who are you?
    • Art Critic Jacques: Ahhh, mon amie! My name iz Jacques and I am ze Museum's finest art critic!
    • Player: Looks to me like you're the ONLY one.
    • Art Critic Jacques: Zis iz true, mon amie. 'owever, in ze future, I will 'ave my own entire floor of ze Museum with paintings galore!
    • Player: Uhh... Has that been approved or are you just dreaming?
    • Art Critic Jacques: Ah, I see [madame/monsieur] iz 'aving ze little bon mot, eh?
    • Player: Err...bone what?
    • Art Critic Jacques: Ze bon mot, ze laugh, ze fun of poking at me, eh? I shall 'ave my gallery, you vill see eventually, mon amie. Zen I shall be ze, 'ow you say, laughing last!
    • (End of dialogue)
  • What do you do here?
    • Player: What do you do here?
    • Art Critic Jacques: I critique ze art! See the beautifool colours and ze masterful use of ze brush to capture perfectly ze royal presence...
    • Umm...it's a painting.
      • Player: Umm...it's just a painting.
      • Art Critic Jacques: JUST a painting? 'ow could you say such a t'ing? When you learn 'ow to appreciate ze wonderful works of art, you may talk to me.
    • Yes, I see!
      • Player: Yes, I see!
      • Player: And look at the use of shade and contrast - isn't it just magnificent?
      • Art Critic Jacques: Oui...so eet eez. So perfect it almost makes me weep wiz joy! The grandiloquent strokes of ze brush convey a kind of mystic quality...eet iz almost as if 'e were 'ere with us.
      • Art Critic Jacques: My father, 'e too waz ze critic of art...'e also saw ze poetry in ze painting. Zis reminds me of a verse 'e would read me - would you like to 'ear it?
      • Yes please.
        • Player: Yes please.
        • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh, good. Zis verse is from a poem by a most talented writer of ze poetry, Charles Baudelaire. My father would place me on 'is knee and read to me like zis...
        • Art Critic Jacques: Je trône dans l'azur comme un sphinx incompris; J'unis un coeur de neige à la blancheur des cygnes; Je hais le mouvement qui déplace les lignes, Et jamais je ne pleure et jamais je ne ris.
        • That was nice, what did it mean?
          • Player: That was nice, what did it mean?
          • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh yes, I forget, open ze ears and I shall tell [madame/monsieur].
          • Art Critic Jacques: Swan-white of heart, a sphinx no mortal knows, My throne is in the heaven's azure deep, I hate all movements that disturb my pose, I smile not ever, neither do I weep.
          • Wow!
            • Player: Wow.
            • Player: That's powerful stuff...and yes, I see what you mean about the painting inspiring you to remember that poem...
            • Art Critic Jacques: I am glad you enjoyed. Please, take ze time to appreciate ze Museum and ze wealth of information 'ere. Come visit me when I 'ave my own gallery!
            • (End of dialogue)
          • I still didn't like it.
            • Player: I still didn't like it.
            • Art Critic Jacques: Eet iz such a shame, but you must 'ave your own opinion, no? Feel free to look around ze Museum some more.
            • (End of dialogue)
        • Beautiful.
          • Player: Beautiful.
          • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh yes, it eez. Feel free to look around ze Museum some more.
          • (End of dialogue)
        • I didn't like it, but I still like the painting.
          • Player: I didn't like it, but I still like the painting.
          • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh well, eet iz not for everyone but I am glad you like ze painting.
          • (End of dialogue)
      • No thanks.
        • Player: No thanks.
        • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh well, eet iz not for everyone.
        • (End of dialogue)