Transcript:Bob (cat)
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Standard dialogue
Without a catspeak amulet
- Bob: Miaoww
While wearing a catspeak amulet
- Bob: Erm, hello? Can you understand me?
- Player: I certainly can, I am wearing this amulet I got in Sophanem!
- Bob: Ah so you've met one of the local felines, wise and confusing , those Sphinges.
- Player: Wow!!! You know the plural of Sphinx!!! What else do you know?
- Bob: All sorts of stuff! I pick up no end of comments on my travels, want to hear one?
- Player: I certainly do. Share your wisdom, Bob!
- Bob then says a tidbit of wisdom.
While having a cat follower
- Bob: Hi, my name is Bob.
- Cat: Hello Bob!
- Player: Do you two know each other?
- Cat: I don't think so...
- Bob: Yes you do. Dive deep, search your feelings.
- Cat: OK, I will try.
- Player: What's up puss?
- Bob: If only you knew the power of Bob. Your master never told you who your real father was, did he?
- Cat: No, but what's that got to do with... no, nooooooo! It cannot be!!
- Bob: Yes. I am your father!
- Cat: That's impossible!!
- Bob: You can destroy Zamorak. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule this place as father and son.
- Cat: OK dad, maybe later, you're scaring me!
- Player: I think that's about enough of that. I'm off.
- (End of dialogue)
If the player has a cat in the bank
- Bob: [player name], why do you keep your cat in the bank?
- Player: I thought it was too dangerous to bring it out with me.
- Player: Or, I could let the poor thing get butchered! Is that what you want?
- Bob: Butchered!!! I think not. Cats are easily as tough as sheep. Cats were the second thing Guthix brought here, after sheep of course.
- Player: Weird. I thought Gnomes and the Dwarves were the first ones. Oh well back to school for me.
- (End of dialogue)
If Bob is located in (Transcript missing. edit)
- Player: Do you like all the monsters around here?
- Bob: No, not really. I'm actually signed up with all those HAM fanatics. Kill the whole lot of 'em!!
- Player: That's a bit cruel isn't it?
- Bob: Yeah, that's one of my best qualities. Just behind sneaky and vicious. Besides, after a few doses of catnip, they all look like mice to me!
- (End of dialogue)
Wisdom
- Player: Hey Bob. Got any wisdom to share?
- A random dialogue is selected from the following:
- Dialogue 1
- Bob: If a player falls down in a forest and nobody is there, do they make any noise?
- Dialogue 2
- Bob: Sorry, I am far too busy marking my territory.
- Player: Your territory? This place is ruled by the Grand Highmage Gower and his minions.
- Bob: I think not. They are my minions, and I let him think that he's in charge. I'm the real power behind the throne.
- Player: I knew it!!
- Bob: Yeah, it keeps them happy that way, but don't tell anyone!
- Player: Hee hee. OK Bob.
- (End of dialogue)
- Dialogue 3
- Bob: Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are Guthix!
- Player: What do you believe, Bob?
- Bob: Well, I don't believe much really since I know I am Zar... erm, well, no, I erm, meow?
- Player: Hee hee. OK Bob.
- Dialogue 4
- Bob: Don't get distracted so easily! See, I'm distracting you right now!
- Dialogue 5
- Bob: Sorry, I'm far too busy calculating thermal vectors.
- Player: Eh?
- Bob: Oh, sorry... I meant, erm, meow?
- Dialogue 6
- Bob: Nothing interesting happens.
- Player: Eh? That's hardly useful.
- Bob: Ahh, but it is you see. It does all sorts of wonderous things.
- Player: Like what?
- Bob: Well, it's more to do with what happens when you hear that being said. You see, something interesting happens somewhere else.
- Player: So what you're saying is that if nothing interesting happens to me, then something interesting is happening for someone else somewhere that IS interesting?
- Bob: Yes, that's about it.
- Player: OK... I see.... I think.
- Dialogue 7
- Bob: Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Dialogue 8
- Bob: So, you want to know how us cats keep so clean all day?
- Player: Must be all that washing you do.
- Bob: You would think so wouldn't you. But is being covered in spit really clean?
- Player: Eeeww. Gross.
- Dialogue 9
- Bob: Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
- Dialogue 10
- Bob: If at first you don't succeed, take a short nap.
- Dialogue 11
- Bob: Yeah, I could tell you something really useful, but then I would have to '1-hit you' to death.
- Player: Bob, you couldn't 1-hit a noob.
- Bob: Care to place a wager on that? Sorry, hang on, I've got no pockets. Maybe next time.
- Player: I'll be waiting.
- Dialogue 12
- Bob: Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
- Dialogue 13
- Bob: I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Dialogue 14
- Bob: There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
- Dialogue 15
- Bob: Cats and teleporting just don't mix well. That's why I walk everywhere. Messes my hair up terribly.
- Dialogue 16
- Bob: Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Dialogue 17
- Bob: Sorry, no time for chat. Still got mouse bones stuck in my teeth. How awkward.
- Dialogue 18
- Bob: You know, cats are the first species to fully evolve. We're perfect.
- Dialogue 19
- Bob: Preserve nature. Pickle a dog!
- Dialogue 20
- Bob: Do you like dogs?
- Player: Yes!
- Bob: Me too. Care to swap recipes? I have a rather unique hotdog sauce.
- Player: Bob, you're a bit messed up really aren't you.
- Bob: No, I just know what I like. Besides, it was a joke.
- Player: A joke? I doubt the dogs are laughing.
- Bob: What dogs? I have already rid this place of dogs. Have you ever seen one?
- Player: Yes actually. I heard there are a few wild dogs about here somewhere.
- Bob: Right!! Fellow cats, prepare for war!!
- Dialogue 21
- Bob: Mmm. Maybe another time.
- Dialogue 22
- Bob: Cat Rule number 1: Always act afraid when near dogs, especially if you're near a human. They will pick you up and fuss you, then shout at the dog. Most amusing!
- Dialogue 23
- Bob: Cat Rule number 2: When assisting a human at work, make sure you sit behind its right leg. You stand a much better chance of getting picked up and stroked. Also, it's very amusing
- Dialogue 24
- Bob: Cat Rule number 3: If you ever make a mistake, which is rare and probably involves a dog, make sure you wash yourself immediately. This will give everyone the impression that
- Bob: it was done on purpose.
- Dialogue 25
- Bob: Cat Rule number 4: Beware the bag monster. These things live in small bags and under newspapers, sometimes even hidden in shoes if they are very clever. They will be very small and
- Bob: take on the same colour as the hiding place. Attack these things on sight - stop at nothing. If you see a bag or shoe you have not inspected recently, pounce!!
- (End of dialogue)