Transcript:Evil Dave
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During Shadow of the Storm
Initial interaction
- Evil Dave: What do you want?
- Select an Option
- I want to go through the portal.
- Player: I want to go through the portal.
- Evil Dave: Go away! This is OUR portal now!
- (End of dialogue)
- I want to join your group.
- Player: I want to join your group.
- Evil Dave: Well we do need one more person now, since... um.
- Evil Dave: But we're an evil group! To join, you have to be evil!
- Select an Option
- I'm evil!
- Player: I'm evil!
- Evil Dave: Yeah, I can see that. That outfit is totally evil!
- Evil Dave: And I love that evil black sword!
- Evil Dave: Okay, I'll take you through to see Denath.
- Evil Dave escorts you into the demonic throne room.
- Evil Dave: Master! This person wants to join us!
- Denath: Indeed? Well we are one wizard short since Josef ran away. Can you vouch for him?
- Evil Dave: Yeah! He's totally evil!
- Denath: Thank you, Dave.
- (End of dialogue)
- Never mind, I'm not evil.
- Player: Never mind, I'm not evil.
- Evil Dave: Well get out of our evil temple then!
- (End of dialogue)
- Oh, nothing.
- Player: Oh, nothing.
- Evil Dave: Go away then!
- (End of dialogue)
- Where did you get those robes?
- Player: Where did you get those robes?
- Evil Dave: Yeah, evil, aren't they? One of the group made them. He said he found some mushrooms in the ruins that could dye things really black.
- (End of dialogue)
Talking to Evil Dave after the incantation
- Evil Dave: Eric's dead! Agrith-Naar killed him! That's EVIL!
- Evil Dave: I mean, it's bad! In a BAD way!
- Select an Option
- What happened?
- Player: What happened?
- Evil Dave: The ceiling collapsed without warning! When I moved towards the staircase the walls started to shake.
- Evil Dave: I'm scared of what will happen to me if I try to leave!
- (Shows other options)
- By using 'evil' as a term of praise...
- Player: By using 'evil' as a term of praise you have left yourself without a word to describe real evil!
- Evil Dave: There's no time for that! Eric's DEAD!
- (Shows other options)
- You've got to get back to the throne room!
- Player: You've got to get back to the throne room!
- Evil Dave: But the portal is closing! We'll be trapped!
- Player: Our only hope is to summon Agrith-Naar again so I can kill him! But I need eight people.
- Evil Dave: You can kill him?
- Evil Dave: You'd better take this then. It was Eric's sigil. Everyone in the ritual will need one!
- (End of dialogue)
During Recipe for Disaster/Freeing Evil Dave
- Evil Dave: Welcome to my BASEMENT OF DOOM!
- Select an Option
- What did you eat at the secret council meeting?
- Player: What did you eat at the secret council meeting?
- Evil Dave: Hey, the council meeting! They wanted me to be their evil representative! That proves I'm a great dark wizard! Right?
- Player: Right...
- Evil Dave: But anyway, why do you want to know what I ate?
- Player: I need to make that exact food in order to save you from the culinomancer's spell.
- Evil Dave: What? But that was last week! You've already saved me!
- Player: Sort of, it's complicated. It works like this...
- Select an Option
- Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze.
- Player: Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze.
- Evil Dave: What?
- Player: I mean, the whole room was frozen in time at the moment the culinomancer cast his spell, right?
- Evil Dave: What? I didn't notice anything.
- Player: Of course you didn't! You were frozen!
- Evil Dave: So how can I be there and also here? Which one is me?
- Evil Dave: I mean, I feel like I'm me, but what if I'm not me?
- Evil Dave: That would be terrible!
- Player: They're both you!
- Evil Dave: How does that work?
- (Shows previous options)
- From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't.
- Player: From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't.
- Evil Dave: Well that's all right, as long as I'm saved from my point of view!
- Player: But I have to save you, otherwise you won't be saved!
- Evil Dave: But I'm here so you must already have saved me!
- Player: That's what I meant, from your point of view I've saved you but from mine I haven't!
- Evil Dave: What?
- (Shows previous options)
- I've got to take the food back in time to give it to you.
- Player: I've to take the food back in time to give it to you.
- Evil Dave: Why?
- Player: Because otherwise you won't be saved from the culinomancer's spell.
- Evil Dave: But I was saved from the spell! I remember it!
- Player: Exactly! That's why I know I have to go back and save you!
- Evil Dave: What will happen if you don't?
- Select an Option
- I can't not, I already have!
- Player: I can't not, because I already have!
- Evil Dave: What?
- Player: The fact that you're here means I already did save you, which means that you have to tell me the correct recipe. It's logically impossible for you not to!
- Evil Dave: I don't understand this at all.
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode!
- Player: There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode!
- Evil Dave: Oh no! That would be bad, and not even in an evil way!
- Player: Exactly! So you've got to tell me the recipe!
- Evil Dave: But I still don't understand why you need the recipe when you've already saved me!
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- I don't know
- Player: I don't know.
- Evil Dave: That's not very helpful. I don't even understand why you need the recipe anyway.
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- You've got to tell me because the magic requires it!
- Evil Dave: All right! Now that makes perfect sense!
- Player: So what was it?
- Evil Dave: What was what?
- Player: The food you ate at the council meeting.
- Evil Dave: It was, like, this totally evil stew!
- Player: Evil stew? How was it evil?
- Evil Dave: Well, it kind of tasted evil, you know? You know, how you taste something and you think, that's really EVIL?
- Player: I think you're mixing up 'good' and 'evil' again!
- Evil Dave: What? Well, I'm evil, and I only like evil stuff, and I liked that, so it must be evil. Right?
- Player: I suppose that makes some kind of sense. But I need to reproduce this stew, so can you describe it in more detail?
- Evil Dave: Well it tasted like the stews my mum makes. She puts these spices in them. But it was like she'd got the amounts totally right this time.
- Player: Okay, I'd better talk to your mum.
- (End of dialogue)
- Oh, never mind.
- Player: Oh, never mind.
- (End of dialogue)
Giving Evil Dave all incorrect ingredients
- Evil Dave: That's nothing like the stew I tasted. All the spices are wrong.
- (End of dialogue)
Giving Evil Dave some correct ingredients
- Evil Dave: Hmm... I think you've got the amount of one spice right, but the others are wrong.
- (End of dialogue)
Giving Evil Dave one incorrect ingredient
- Evil Dave: That stew is pretty evil! But I think one of the spices is still a bit wrong.
- Giving Evil Dave two correct ingredients
- Evil Dave: You've got the amount of two of the spices right, but two of them are wrong.
- (End of dialogue)
Giving Evil Dave the correct stew
- Evil Dave: TOTALLY EVIL! That's EXACTLY how the stew tasted!
- Player: Don't eat it all!
- Player: Now I just have to go back in time and give it to your earlier self!
- Evil Dave: What? Why can't I eat it?
- Player: You've already eaten it! This is the stew that you remember tasting in the first place!
- Evil Dave: So confused...
- (End of dialogue)
Using the correct stew on the Evil Dave in Lumbridge
- Evil Dave: Woah, what happened?
- Player: I've just saved you from a buffet worse than death!
- Evil Dave: Hey, this is pretty evil stew!
- Player: Yes. Now it's very important you remember what the stew tasted like!
- Evil Dave: Why?
- Player: Because... it just is!
- Evil Dave: Okay.
- (End of dialogue)
After completing Recipe for Disaster/Freeing Evil Dave
- Evil Dave: Welcome to my BASEMENT OF DOOM!
- Nice basement!
- Player: Nice basement!
- Evil Dave: Nice?!
- Player: I mean, evil!
- Evil Dave: Yeah! I'm going to use it to summon DEMONS to DO MY BIDDING, or raise an ARMY OF THE UNDEAD! And then I'm going to totally, like, take over the world!
- Evil Dave: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa!
- So have you had any luck with the demon-summoning?
- Player: So have you had any luck with the demon-summoning?
- Evil Dave: Well, I thought I should start small, so I asked Wizard Grayzag for some help with summoning imps...
- Player: And did you manage to summon any?
- Evil Dave: Well, not imps, exactly. It turns out they're not the lowest form of demon after all. I got these hell-rats.
- Evil Dave: They're hardly evil at all! They're just like regular rats only they smell vaguely of sulphur!
- (Shows other options)
- Weren't you going to give up evil?
- (Same as below)
- See you later.
- Player: See you later!
- A random dialogue is selected from the following:
- Dialogue 1
- Evil Dave: If my ARMY OF DARKNESS doesn't get you first!
- Dialogue 2
- Evil Dave: Soon you will return to bow before my EVIL THRONE!
- Dialogue 3
- Evil Dave: If you can find your way out of my BASEMENT OF DOOM!
- Dialogue 4
- Evil Dave: And together we will lead Gielinor into a NEW DARK AGE!
- Dialogue 5
- Evil Dave: Of course you will return! There is no escape from my DARK POWER!
- (End of dialogue)
- Weren't you going to give up evil?
- Player: Weren't you going to give up evil?
- Evil Dave: Yeah, well...
- Evil Dave: I did try. I wore this bright red jumper and I got up in the morning and spent the day outside in the sunshine...
- *Dave shudders*
- Evil Dave: But I couldn't keep it up. I just didn't find anything good very interesting, you know?
- Evil Dave: Sometimes I worry about the consequences of evil. I don't really want anyone to get hurt, not like what happened with Denath.
- Evil Dave: But I can't not be evil! It's just who I am!
- Evil Dave: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa!
- Nice basement!
- (Same as above)
- See you later.
- (Same as above)
- Let me try to explain the time travel thing again...
- Player: Let me try to explain the time travel thing again...
- Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze.
- Player: Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze.
- Evil Dave: What?
- Player: I mean, the whole room was frozen in time at the moment the culinomancer[sic] cast his spell, right?
- Evil Dave: What? I didn't notice anything.
- Player: Of course you didn't! You were frozen!
- Evil Dave: So how can I be there and also here? Which one is me?
- Evil Dave: I mean, I feel like I'm me, but what if I'm not me?
- Evil Dave: That would be terrible!
- Player: They're both you!
- Evil Dave: How does that work?
- (Shows previous options)
- From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't.
- Player: From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't.
- Evil Dave: Well that's all right, as long as I'm saved from my point of view!
- Player: But I have to save you, otherwise you won't be saved!
- Evil Dave: But I'm here so you must already have saved me!
- Player: That's what I meant, from your point of view I've saved you but from mine I haven't!
- Evil Dave: What?
- (Shows previous options)
- I've got to take the food back in time to give it to you.
- Player: I've to take the food back in time to give it to you.
- Evil Dave: Why?
- Player: Because otherwise you won't be saved from the culinomancer's[sic] spell.
- Evil Dave: But I was saved from the spell! I remember it!
- Player: Exactly! That's why I know I have to go back and save you!
- Evil Dave: What will happen if you don't?
- I can't not, I already have!
- Player: I can't not, because I already have!
- Evil Dave: What?
- Player: The fact that you're here means I already did save you, which means that you have to tell me the correct recipe. It's logically impossible for you not to!
- Evil Dave: I don't understand this at all.
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode!
- Player: There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode!
- Evil Dave: Oh no! That would be bad, and not even in an evil way!
- Player: Exactly! So you've got to tell me the recipe!
- Evil Dave: But I still don't understand why you need the recipe when you've already saved me!
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- I don't know
- Player: I don't know.
- Evil Dave: That's not very helpful. I don't even understand why you need the recipe anyway.
- (Shows previous-to-previous options)
- You've got to tell me because the magic requires it!
- Player: You've got to tell me because the magic requires it!
- Evil Dave: That's what you said before! Honestly, why make it more complicated than it needs to be?
- (End of dialogue)
- Oh, never mind.
- Player: Oh, never mind.
- (End of dialogue)
Treasure Trails
Hard
- Evil Dave: Ah! Here you go!
- Player: What?
- Evil Dave: I need you to answer this for me.
- (Player receives a challenge scroll.)
- Evil Dave has given you a challenge scroll!
- (End of dialogue)
When talked to again
- Evil Dave: Please enter the answer to the question.
- When given the wrong answer:
- Evil Dave: That is not the evil answer I requested!
- (End of dialogue)
- When given the correct answer:
- Evil Dave: Spot on!
- (Player receives [another clue scroll/a casket].)
- Evil Dave has given you [another clue scroll/a casket]!
- (End of dialogue)