Toilet

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VineryWatson's houseMuseum campGhorrock cell
Door
Released25 February 2016 (Update)
MembersNo
QuestNo
LocationVinery
OptionsOpen
ExamineIt's a door.
Map
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Advanced data
Object ID11763

There are only four toilets in Gielinor. While no models actually exist for the toilet itself, small shacks in three separate locations are heavily implied to be outhouses that have toilets inside. Every outhouse is permanently occupied, and interacting with either the door or the individual inside will usually lead to some humorous dialogue.

Outhouses

Vinery

An outhouse is idyllically located just south-east of the Hosidius vinery, surrounded by shrubs of wild heather and the happy buzzing of nearby flies. Attempting to open its door will cause the man inside to yell that it is occupied, but notably, this man can also be spoken to directly. See the notable individuals section below to learn more about his identity.

Watson's house

Also located in Hosidius is the luxurious stone outhouse south of Watson's house, but unlike the other two outdoor toilets, the person seemingly occupying it cannot be interacted with directly. If an attempt is made to open the door, the player character will reflectively state that it must be locked for a good reason, and leave it alone. It is possible to peek inside of the outhouse when enabling the hide roof option in the settings, revealing a large hole taking up almost the entire floorspace; this outhouse might therefore contain a squat toilet or pit latrine, rather than a porcelain toilet.

Museum camp

Finally, a wooden outhouse can be found in the north-western corner of the museum camp based on Fossil Island, standing as the only permanently erected wooden building among the canvas tents. Like the vinery outhouse, interacting with its door will lead to the player being scolded by its occupant, but unlike the former, no NPC can be detected inside it.

Non-outhouse toilets

  • In Desert Treasure II - The Fallen Empire, the player has to rummage through a bucket in the Ghorrock Prison. The bucket is explicitly labelled as a latrine bucket by the prisoner's letter, which ends by saying "P.S. Your new cell should have a latrine bucket. I trust you'll know what to do with it."
    • If the player tries to reach into the bucket before reading the prisoner's note, they will exclaim that they are "not sticking [their] hand in there without good reason!" Based on this response, it's heavily implied that there is excrement present in the bucket, likely having sat there for quite a long time.
    • Upon reaching in, your character will say "Eugh! I can't believe i'm doing this." Afterwards, searching the bucket again will display the text: "You carefully search the bucket, but apart from horrors to never be spoken of again, you find nothing of interest." These both further indicate that there is waste inside the bucket.

Notable individuals

  • The man in the vineyard outhouse is in fact the same man that irritatedly states to be on the toilet when spoken to through the NPC Contact spell, as one of the persons the player can be connected to when selecting the random option.[1] Indeed, they both share the same chathead, and to some extent the same dialogue as well. As the man on the toilet could be contacted through the lunar spellbook long before players gained access to the western continent, it was only after the mainland was connected to the kingdom of Kourend that the man's true identity – as well as the mystery of the toilet's location – would be revealed.[2]
  • An unidentified man occupies the single toilet stall on Fossil Island in perpetuity. Strangely, though there doesn't seem to be a non-player character inside the outhouse, attempting to open the door will nonetheless cause the mysterious man inside to yell: "Occupied!"

References to other toilets

Toilets mentioned in NPC dialogue

  • When inquiring after the whereabouts of Traitorous Ali during the quest The Feud, the bartender states he had just left the bar to go to a toilet, adding that it might be quite a while before he returns, given the journey one must undertake to reach the nearest toilet stall on Fossil Island.[3]
    • Prior to the addition of Fossil Island, the bartender's dialogue instead states: "He is here, actually he was here! He's just nipped out to go to the toilet a few minutes ago. His drink is over there on the table by those barrels. The only problem is that no one has ever actually seen a toilet in RuneScape so he may take a little while. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
  • After the quest Making Friends with My Arm, Yellow Snow mentions that his homeland has few toilets. This leads to the events of his unfortunate name.[4]
  • Banisoch implies that she uses the southern entrance to Brimhaven dungeon as a toilet when the player talks to her after paying the one-time entry fee.[5]
  • Hallak, one of the three water spirits that dwell in the Water Ravine Dungeon, is accused of leaving the toilet seat up by the two other spirits he is bonded with.[6]
  • The schoolboys and schoolgirls that can be found visiting the Varrock Museum occasionally ask the player if they know where their teacher is, as they need to go to the toilet.[7]
  • During the 2015 Halloween event, when attempting to gain entry to Anti-Santa's basement, the player fools him by saying "I'm looking for the toilet." Anti-Santa then commends the player for their focus on practical pursuits, and expresses his wish for the player's pursuit of a lavatory to succeed.[8]
  • In a conversation with the peg-legged brewer working on the besieged Braindeath Island during the events of Rum Deal, it is revealed that instead of fighting off the beleaguering zombie swabs, he has spent most of his time occupying a toilet.[9]
    • The copious amount of time this brewer spent hogging the toilet may have partially incited the religious awakening experienced by one of his colleagues, who states the zombie protest has led him to fervently pray for "a new pair of trousers."[10]
  • When playing the lyre on stage as part of The Fremennik Trials, four revellers sat in the longhall will occasionally share their opinion of the player's performance in the form of overhead dialogue. In one of these commentaries – delivered by either Fridgeir, Ospak, Styrmir, or Torbrund – the reveller claims: I have produced better sounds in the outhouse!

Objects implied to be toilets

  • There is an escape route from a troll prison the player finds themself in during Making Friends with My Arm. This "smelly hole" is implied to be a makeshift troll toilet by Yellow Snow after completing the quest.[11]
  • The Temple of Light is adorned with two large pictograms on the south-western wall of the ground floor[UK]1st floor[US], which are commonly featured on toilet signs of public lavatories.
  • Two bowls of water spawn on the 1st floor[UK]2nd floor[US] of two houses in Slepe, which were added as a substitute for chamber pots during the "Theatre of Blood Design Stream" when one of the viewers suggested adding a toilet to a house.[12]
  • Several buckets of nondescript content can be found dotted around Meiyerditch. Attempting to pick one up will cause the message I really do not want to go anywhere near that! It stinks! to appear in the chatbox, alluding to their possible function as makeshift toilets.
  • Two buckets in the fishing hamlet of Witchaven are characterised as vessels for holding night soil, meaning they could be considered an improvised toilet of sorts.
  • The cells of the Port Sarim Jail also each contain a bucket (though one appears to be toppled over by its inmates), which are likewise implied to accommodate the prisoners' need for defecation.
  • According to its examine text, Ba-Ba's Throne may in fact do double duty as a toilet for the undead baboon matriarch.

Toilets mentioned in text

  • When Zamorak is asked in one of the God Letters why there are sewers in Gielinor, but no toilets, he responds: "Surely that is infinitely preferable to the alternative - toilets without sewers?"[13]
  • In another issue of the God Letters, Saradomin downplays the need for the inhabitants of Gielinor to have access to an outhouse. However, he does claim to have noticed that "the lake by Taverley has started to look a bit muddy recently."[14]
  • Curiously, a cryptic Treasure Trails clue instructing the player to "Search the crates in the outhouse of the long building in Taverley" suggests the small shed to be a toilet, which would dispense with the need for the druids to relieve themselves in the lake.
  • The update that extended automatic vial smashing (known as the "Drink Like a Barbarian" ability) to the supercompost potion also remarked: "That explains the state of the Barbarians' loos." Despite this statement, no loos can be found within Barbarian territories.

Trivia

  • It remains an open question whether or not the adventurer has need of a toilet at all: when first speaking to Ava, she makes passing mention of the fact that warriors don't ever seem to sleep, nor "perform many other bodily functions, for that matter."[15] At the same time, if the player already has the required Ugthanki dung at their disposal during the events of My Arm's Big Adventure before being asked to obtain some, My Arm comments on the smell, admitting he had a sneaking suspicion that the player may have had "done a whoopsie."[16] In contrast to Ava, the mountain troll therefore clearly attributes gastrointestinal function to the player.
  • The existence of toilets implies the existence of toilet paper: indeed, soaked pages are described as feeling "clammy, like second-hand toilet paper" upon examination by the player character. If used on the man occupying the outhouse near the Hosidius vinery, he will remark that he has "seen that one before", before generously insisting that the player may keep it as their own.[17] This provides a likely explanation for how the pages became soaked, and presumably torn from their tome as well.[18]
  • The rapid-fire attack triggered by stepping underneath Xarpus in the Theatre of Blood was designed to resemble a volley of bat guano hurled at the player "from his nethers."[19] Consequently, a raider who has the misfortune of ending up in such a position could be considered to function as a toilet for the Yarasa King during the incident.[20]
  • At least one Jagex moderator is confirmed to use a toilet while working.[1]

Gallery

  • One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located near the Hosidius Vinery. Attempting to open the door will cause the man inside to yell: "Occupied!".
    One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located near the Hosidius Vinery. Attempting to open the door will cause the man inside to yell: "Occupied!".
  • One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located near the Watson's house. Attempting to open the locked door will result in the player remarking: "I'm sure this door is locked for a reason. I'll leave it be".
    One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located near the Watson's house. Attempting to open the locked door will result in the player remarking: "I'm sure this door is locked for a reason. I'll leave it be".
  • A bird's-eye view of one of the few toilets in Gielinor, allowing one to peer inside through its missing roof to unveil the great cavity lurking inside.
    A bird's-eye view of one of the few toilets in Gielinor, allowing one to peer inside through its missing roof to unveil the great cavity lurking inside.
  • One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located in the Museum Camp. Attempting to open the door will cause the man inside to yell: "Occupied!".
    One of the few toilets in Gielinor, located in the Museum Camp. Attempting to open the door will cause the man inside to yell: "Occupied!".
  • The smelly hole dug by the ice trolls in the prison underneath Weiss, so that "Mother's prisoners wouldn't go all over floor".
    The smelly hole dug by the ice trolls in the prison underneath Weiss, so that "Mother's prisoners wouldn't go all over floor".
  • The pictograms hinting at the presence of a public lavatory in the Temple of Light.
    The pictograms hinting at the presence of a public lavatory in the Temple of Light.
  • The prisoners of the Port Sarim Jail enjoy luxurious access to bucket-based sanitation.
    The prisoners of the Port Sarim Jail enjoy luxurious access to bucket-based sanitation.
  • An unused model of a toilet roll was left in the game files, which was originally intended to release alongside The Fremennik Isles.
    An unused model of a toilet roll was left in the game files, which was originally intended to release alongside The Fremennik Isles.

References

  1. ^
  2. ^
  3. ^ Ali The barman in The Feud. Old School RuneScape. "[Player: I'm looking for Traitorous Ali.] He was just here! Look, he's even left his drink on the table by those barrels. Must have nipped out to go to the toilet. He might be gone a while though. The nearest outhouse is all the way over on Fossil Island."
  4. ^ Yellow Snow. Old School RuneScape. "We trolls are named after the first thing we try to eat, an' some things are kinda inevitable in a big snowy land with almost no toilets."
  5. ^ Banisoch. Old School RuneScape. "[Player: Why are you waiting by this hole?] Ever seen a toilet around here?"
  6. ^ Hallak. Old School RuneScape. "[Nirrie: We are a gestalt entity. We each have our own body, but our minds] [Tirrie: are united and we all think as one. Well except when Hallak doth leaveth] [Nirrie: the toilet seat up.] That's the way it's meant to be!"
  7. ^ Schoolboy. Old School RuneScape. "Can you find my teacher? I need the toilet!"
  8. ^ Anti-Santa in 2015 Halloween event. Old School RuneScape. "Hey, serf, what business have you in there? [Player: I'm looking for the toilet.] That is a worthy pursuit. Many people spend the holidays wistfully dreaming of a better world, turning to empty fantasies and false cheers to conceal their disappointment at reality. But you, by focusing on such a practical pursuit, may truly bring about a better world while the dreamers achieve nothing. I salute you, and wish you success in your quest!"
  9. ^ Brewer in Rum Deal. Old School RuneScape. "I bet ye've never had to beat a dozen zombies to death with a blunt toothpick! [Player: That's right. Have you?] No, I've spent most of my time in the toilet to be honest."
  10. ^ Brewer in Rum Deal. Old School RuneScape. "Well, I'm not a priest, but I must admit I've been praying fervently since the zombies arrived. [Player: For anything in particular?] A new pair of trousers. Those things are scary."
  11. ^ Yellow Snow. Old School RuneScape. "We dug smelly hole in prison so Mother's prisoners wouldn't go all over floor, but it not very convenient."
  12. ^ Old School RuneScape. "The Town of Slepe - Theatre of Blood Design Stream with Mod West" (in 1:01:46). YouTube video. 29 March 2018.
  13. ^ God Letter 18: "Zamorak Rises!". RuneScape God Letters. Jagex.
  14. ^ God Letter 6: "All Hallow's Eve". RuneScape God Letters. Jagex.
  15. ^ Ava in Animal Magnetism. Old School RuneScape. "[Player: Great, will I be able to take a nap in it?] Don't be silly; everyone knows that true warriors don't ever sleep...or perform many other bodily functions, for that matter."
  16. ^ My Arm in My Arm's Big Adventure. Old School RuneScape. "My Arm not like to say so earlier, but you bin smellin' like you done a whoopsie."
  17. ^ Man (Hosidius). Old School RuneScape. "I've seen that one before. It's yours now."
  18. ^
  19. ^
  20. ^
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